I am a Pod

I think that my superiors are playing an office version of the Sims on a game cube. Anyone in a cube is a Sim character. They have set up an office for us to work in, assigned us a desk, picked out our clothes, what time we work, how long of a lunch we take, designated us tasks, and dictate what we can or cannot say to clients. They even tell us when to go to the bathroom--ok just kidding on that part. You get the idea. I don't have any room to complain because I submitted to this when taking the position--we all did. However, the line was crossed last week when we had a special meeting on what was appropriate to discuss co-worker to co-worker. Not only did we discuss it as a group but then we had to role play. I have never felt so inhuman as I did at that point. Why don't they just insert a chip in the back of my neck already? Am I caught in the Matrix? If I take a little red pill, will I wake up to reality?
Morpheus: The pill you took is part of a trace program. It's designed to disrupt your input/output carrier signal so we can pinpoint your location.
Neo: What does that mean?
Cypher: It means buckle your seatbelt, Dorothy, 'cause Kansas is going bye-bye.

Burrrrrrr

Ok so I am doing two posts today. Get over it--I'm bored. Really, I have nothing to do but sit here and pretend that I am working. Work can be so busy that I want to tear out my hair or so slow that I want to tear out my hair. Really, there is rarely that happy medium where I want to just leave my hair alone.
Today the office feels like the freezer section at the grocery store. It's so cold that I have a headache and I don't want to touch my desk because it's frozen. And because it is so slow, I notice the temperature that much more. At one point, we all got space heaters because the a/c was up so high in the middle of the winter. We had to turn them off though because they aren't energy efficient. I guess they figured that they'd rather have employees spend their hard earned money on the physical ramifications of having such a bitterly cold working environment. Or they were sick of the heaters blowing out the fuses, causing all of our computers to go off. Now you are probably wondering why they don't just turn down the a/c. Well let's address that. It's the most obvious and simple solution, right? Well, let me tell you what happens when you turn down the a/c. There are offices that surround the cubicle area. The air in their offices is tied to the air in the cubicle area. So any slight adjustment in temperature out here, is a major adjustment in there. Turn down the a/c and you will see heads spinning up and away from bloated sweating bodies. I don't really care about them though. They make more money than I do and they have a window....which are probably two of the reasons why I don't get my way.

Am I OCD?

It's a chilling feeling when you are in the bathroom stall at work and you can hear someone leave the stall they were in and walk out of the bathroom without the faucet turning on. This is why I and others I work with, use papertowels to cover the door handles we use in the office. This is also why I'm always very un nerved when someone needs to use my computer. Ew...
It's also quite disturbing to hear someone in the stall brushing their teeth and peeing at the same time. Really, that's not a huge time saver! Take the extra two minutes to brush your teeth separately!

Quote

the quote is from mightygirl.net
I've been yawning a lot today, which probably only means I'm tired. However, I suspect that the oxygen/CO2 ratio in the office is out of whack. They're giving us just enough air to function, but not enough to organize a revolt.

Job Description

This comes from a girl locked up in an attorney's office:

you're probably already gone...but here's a stab at what i do:

Must have expert skills in WordPerfect and/or Word 2000, be able to type over 70 wpm accurately, have several years of state and federal filing experience and be proficient in creating and editing depositions and pleadings. Candidate may support several attorneys, must have a positive attitude and should be willing to juggle multiple tasks and able to jump from desk-to-desk with ease and efficiency. Candidate should also be able to transcribe tapes via dictaphone, file with the courts and fill in with overflow. Must be flexible and work effectively under pressure and with deadlines.

I said: That is awesome. I love that you have your job description on hand.

she replied: i wish i could provide you with my personal interpretation of my job description - but after reading all those blogs about people losing their jobs it freaks me out.

that description barely hits the nail on the head. the description should include: must be capable of sitting for long periods of time at your desk and look busy because the second you get up to go to the bathroom or a forced errand to the kitchen your boss will call you to please bring him a paperclip.

Windows

It's time for me to free myself from the cubicle. The count down begins now. I feel like I just found out that I am being released from prison and I get to go outside for the first time in a year....It will be a year and a half when I leave. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my job--I hate the confined space. I hate that the people who have actual offices with big windows come in every day and shut their blinds. Why can't I trade places with that person??? How could a person who obviously hates the outside that much be allowed to have a giant windowed office? A while ago, all of the boxes were cleaned out of one of the offices and desks were put in. Do you know who got to sit there overlooking the beautiful grass, trees, and buildings? THE INTERNS. What in the world are we doing putting people that are here PART TIME and who do not need to be sitting at a desk all day in a cush office with a window that spans an entire wall?! Why couldn't some of the regular staff go in there? I will tell you why. Because we need to be in a central spot that is easily 'looked in on' if you know what I mean. So what about the interns? Shouldn't they be 'looked in on'? They are tucked away in that office where no one of higher authority frequently goes. How much work is getting done in there? I will tell you. I was left 'in charge' one day and I had to give the interns work to do. It was getting close to the end of the day and I went in their office to figure out how busy they were and they were all sitting around chatting away. So I found some work and brought it in to one of them as the others were all leaving for the day. Not 5 minutes later, I went back in there to talk to the last lonely intern about something and I found him with his lap top open and he was playing a VIDEO GAME. So now I'm thinking is this what they do all day? Is this what I am missing out on? Where do I sign up?